So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
