Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
