We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
did i just pee glitter
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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