ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
