we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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