you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
