i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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