That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
