TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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