Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
