dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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