i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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