I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
