I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
