Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
