once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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