Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
