K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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