the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
