She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
