how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
