I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
