What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
