I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
