I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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