Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
