why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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