Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
