in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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