She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
