Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
