he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
