I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
