operation harelip BJ is a go
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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