i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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