btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize