Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I met the friendliest cop last night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Houston, we have a blender
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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