I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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