eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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