omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
