I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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