I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize