STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
