So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
