bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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