So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
