i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
