Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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