ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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