Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
