I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
