Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
tell me about the fingering
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