My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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