My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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