Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

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(516): View more from New York

There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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(631): View more from New York

Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him

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(208): View more from Idaho

aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.

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(954): View more from Florida

I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.

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(913): View more from Kansas

He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.

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