none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
