You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize