Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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