screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
