I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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