Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize