i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am mentally ready for anal.
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