I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
